Whoever said you can’t go back home didn’t know the loving acceptance of such friends and family. As Mom and I pondered the advantages of such a move the thought of where we would be settling brought up a very pleasant memory for Mom. This is where she began her life with Dad. After Dad left the service they settled right there in Oxnard. In fact her first four children were born in the county so in effect she is coming full circle. She’s not starting over, she’s coming back. And it is so comforting to know that the ones who have missed her are standing in line to welcome her home. And I’m more than happy to be part of the package.

For those who love her there is concern. Is she making a move to soon? Will she regret leaving the Oregon home she has loved for so long? What about downsizing to a smaller house and yard? Will she miss what she is about to give up? All very good questions and ones not considered lightly. Unfortunately there are no clear rules and regulations for what to do and when to do it when you lose a lifelong partner. I know because I looked desperately. Long and hard I looked to no avail after Larry died. Sure there are the generally accepted 7 stages of grief and the old adage… wait a year. But those aren’t cast in stone because every heart is different and some people are more resilient than others. Some can see a silver lining where others see a dark cloud. I was the dark cloud kind; lost and sad for a very long time. Mom however seems to be the type of Widow I so wanted to be. Sad but not mired in grief, looking at a life ahead rather than the one behind. Maybe that’s because she has had the past three years to grieve having had the advance knowledge of death. Or maybe it’s just because she is the strong and hopeful woman I’ve always known her to be. Either way I am proud of her because she still has her “get up and go” and it’s become more evident with her decision.

Her choice to leave this “little paradise” in Oregon may be a surprise to some but what is more surprising is that many of the ones who will miss her the most are relieved and happy for her too. They are relieved that she will not have the worry of trying to take care of such a rural property. They are relieved that mom will still have the closeness of family when I need to work. They are happy that she is choosing to surround herself with people she already knows and loves and they are thrilled to see her smiling. And that’s the most important….. She is smiling

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