It’s almost 5 pm…which means that Teri and Mom should be almost to Santa Barbara and then  …. VENTURA!  Yay.  I am so thrilled that I will get to see them in just a little while… and yes I have chocolate ready.

Yet…my emotions are all over the place. While I am thrilled that I get this visit, the reason for it is not a good one. Mom’s sister, Aunt Ann, who lived in Lancaster, has passed away, so Mom is coming for her funeral….and that puts some more cracks into my heart. I cannot even begin to imagine what is going on in my Mom’s battered heart. She has seen so many of her close friends pass away this last year…then Dad, and now her sister. I just shake my head, and hold my hand over my chest and cry for her losses… and I pray. I pray that Jehovah cup her heart in his hands and hold it together and sooth it with loving tenderness. Guide her thoughts so that they will linger not on the sadness and pain, but on the wonderful memories, on the laughter and the joys she shared with her sister and my father. I beg that he not leave her unattended, but watch over her constantly and when she lays down at night and closes her eyes, please, grant her peace of mind and not turmoil of heart.

Our love goes out to Aunt Ann’s family: our Cousins and their families, who are grieving and experiencing a pain similar to what we just went through and continue to struggle with. They too watched their love one die because of Cancer. Aunt Ann battled lung cancer. I wish that I could say I learned exactly what to say to comfort them, but I have not. Friends and loved ones have written beautiful sentiments and recited scriptures in an effort to comfort us over losing Dad….I appreciate each and every one and know that I have been bolstered by their love and support….but there are just no words. Because death is wrong, it stings and hurts and keeps on taking more of our loved ones away. I hope that Aunt Ann’s family is surrounded by good friends. Our friends were our life support system and still are.  So when I see my Cousins at the funeral, I will do the only thing I can, I will hug them tight….no words I could possibly say can ease their grief, but I do know how much those hugs can help.  I am so sorry for their loss.

And…. I don’t know how long I get to keep Mom and Teri here, but I will do my darndest to try to show Mom a good time. She can make some more memories with her Grandchildren and Great-grandchildren, walk on the beach and pick up rocks and sea glass, visit some old friends,  and I do have some good wine for her and Teri.  When all else fails to keep her spirits up …. I plan on pulling out the chocolate. Mom loves chocolate. Yep…that’s my plan.

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